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Hanging on a fire escape and listening to sad songs relevant to your life always has a time and place.
A sloppy snippet from my journal (and how I’ve been spending my days lately).
This winter was so long, eventually I gave up all hope there would ever be a spring again.
Suddenly, two days after the sunday we were supposed to get ten inches of snow, Vermont decided to surprise us with a week in the 70s. I can hardly imagine what “hot” weather feels like- I already find myself barefoot in the grass, burning under the sun, napping outside on my quilt soaking in the glitter all around me. Suddenly, this endless winter ended. And it feels so good.
I didn’t take as many photos this winter as I would have liked to, I was dead broke for the vast majority of it and developing photos can really add up!
Yes things felt gloomy and dark, more so than usual, but pockets of joy happened too. Solo train rides were taken, crumbling old factories were explored, music was felt in my chest, poetry was scratched in journals, concerts were attended, and friends were loving and loved.
Some of my tumblr posts from this winter that fit the aesthetic, and the moods that were felt.
By Jeanann Verlee
I have spent one too many nights hunched over a glowing computer screen with burning eyes watching “spoken word” poetry until 3:00 in the morning. I have never regretted it. This has always been one of my favorite poems.
Jeanann Verlee is an author, activist, and former punk rocker with powerful prose. I solute you.
Sending love your way,
Lately I’ve had a strange desire to lay naked in the sun somewhere.
I’m not some nudist or hippie freak- but I am a natural creature with a desire to be at one with the earth and the sun without layers of manmade fabrics and fibers separating me from my life source. I want to feel the sunshine on all the parts of me I cover up on a day to day basis. Furthermore- I know I would find this activity emotionally healing. Like so many people I have a severely bruised self-esteem. For a long time I was a miserable and hateful person with a host of inner turmoils and pains. But I managed to fix it, and I know you can too.
For me this year is all about change. Not changing to become something that isn’t natural to me, or possible for me. Not change in the sense that I am dissatisfied with myself and I want to hide the pieces of me that are inadequate. That used to be my motive, but I am happy to say I’ve started to heal.
I feel like a rat in a cage.
Honestly. Not even a hamster, because hamsters have groovy wheels to run on. This is what the suburbs do to me.
Maybe I’m being a little dramatic. Many people have fulfilling lives in sprawling suburban neighborhoods. But a year in Vermont with it’s green mountains and beautiful city on the lake (the lovely Burlington) has left me feeling homesick… for school.
Plus, my year studying just how horrible the suburbs are for the environment has left me mentally critiquing everything I see.